TITLE: Portico, or why it ain't a port to ICO, honey AUTHOR: Jim9137 DATE: 9/03/2005 09:24:00 ip. ----- BODY:

... mainly because I drank all the chocolate coffee. ANYWAY, Portico is a blog about strategy games. You can probably find it on the link list on the right, unless I have already deleted on my mass murdering spree. The author eagerly advertises his exploits in the world of any gameblog's enemy, magazines. And how they rock, and how his reviews rock, and how he just got to interview the head satan itself, ESA. But I digress. Click read more to see why and why this blogpost is happening and why it's happening in the first place. Or not. --- I happen to semi-know Portico's author, due to various internet exchangial features such as IRC (Internet Relay Chat) and Games. I regularly beat his arse in Close Combat as his beloved russkies run away in terror and panic as my brave finlanders throw their molotov cocktails with deadly accuracy from places which they haven't ever seen before! And in UFO2000 his plasma regiments can't stand against my power armored legions as they march down blowing everything moving and standing up, who needs a pussy plasma when you got some serious firepower anyway? But anyway, I only know him through this various exchangial features. But sometimes, he gets the nerve to critize my blog. Just like that, call my vastly superior blog inferior to his pile of whatever dongus food they feed over the sea. "You don't update enough" "Your article doesn't make sense" "What the heck are you on about-" SHUT UP SHUT UP. >:| I dare to say that my blog has more content than his inane ramblings will ever achieve in their miserable electronic life time! How could his, Six Guns to Glory beat my infamous "Titles, or where have all the good names gone"? The former includes some whimsical attempt at constructive suggestion, the latter gets right down in the core of the problem and kicks it's miserable ass out of this planet.. You can't just beat the Staedler pen comparison with a poor World War 2 game blahblahing, you need to get right down on the issue and tear it's poor cold soul apart! The author whom I'm so carefully critizing just blatantly refuses to acknowledge this fact and sacrifices his creditability in order to advance his poor self-contained image forward in such world as game magazines, like Computer*spit* Game*spit* Maga*spit*zine. DARE I SAY HE BETRAYED HIS KIN FOR HIS OWN DEMONIC DEEDS? But no, that's not all! He also regularly writes articles in Do-scre-yerself website, including GASP EDITORIALS! Who is this man? Is he a blogger? Is he a writer? Is he someone utterly genious for doing such things? NO! He is none of the above, he is just someone who rapes his status in order to gain something horrifically great in his sinister plans for the world domination. Not to mention his theme just plain sucks. So that's why Portico, the link which I'm in process deleting but seems to have enrootened itself on my poor template rather tightly, isn't the thing. That's why it ain't the port to Ico. That's why my dear and lovely readers, is why you should avoid it. I just hope that the author will shove his huge ego back into his arse and take a look at my post, and actually take heed from my highly constructive critizism and abandon his evil ways. Acknowledging the problem is the first step in the long path of cure, Goodfellow. Acknowledge your problem! Shove your blog back where it came from and leave me alone! Bastard. Disclaimer: I don't have coffee. I shall deny everything in the morning. And happy april's, kids.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:  Troy Goodfellow EMAIL: URL: DATE: 22:56 A little cranky today? Or drunk? And we never play Close Combat - it's Combat Mission. And I always win. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:  Jim9137 EMAIL: URL: DATE: 00:19 (Shush now, back into your box.) ----- --------